“I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always … so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.”

― Yann MartelLife of Pi

I am afraid to write about this.

So I will.

Matt didn’t exactly want a third child.  Not then at least.

Picture it.  New Year’s Day.  2011…

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  1. Thank you for sharing your journey Amy. It brings tears to my eyes. We faced similar challenges during that time. I admire your courage and strength. It is truly amazing. God bless Axel. XO

    1. Tara, I well remember you and I in the hospital at the same time with the same doctor and the same issues. I am so grateful that you had a happier ending that I did, but I know it was scary and hard for you too. Also thankful that we are both where we are with our six beautiful healthy kids in our arms. xoxo Amy

  2. Oh my dearest Amy, I remember those days all to well. I have shared your story with a few of my own son’s friends that have lost babies. Not to ease their pain, that can not be accomplished by an “outsider” but to simply let them know that they are not alone. Hugs to everyone. Karin


    1. Karen,
      You and Barbara were such great support to our family during this awful time. I will never forget how you were honest and kind with Colton when he would speak of his baby brother in heaven. Thank you for that, and for your kind words. We couldn’t have made it through without our Tots Spot family.

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