We had our fall conference today at Colt’s school. We have been in close touch with the director over the last four days regarding the bullying. She has taken it very seriously and addressed it in the ways we asked. Colt seems to have settled down a lot. He switched ‘barn groups’ and is now away from the two boys who were treating him terribly. It seems to have made all the difference. I am still nervous each day as I drop him off. I wonder how much of this is Colton’s predilection for sensitivity and how much is the other boys being awful. I know its some of both. What the ratio is I may never know. It is sufficient in my mind to say there is a problem when Colt displays this amount of anxiety over anything at school. He’s five. If it ain’t fun now when will it be?
The last three days have brought smiles and happy reports so I feel like we are heading in the right direction. His review today from an academic standpoint was superior. We thought it might be. Colt may be sensitive, but he’s also super bright. Its is a wonderful moment as a parent to hear that we aren’t the only ones who think so. They actually asked us if he speaks Chinese since he is picking up Mandarin somehow at school. Colt. His thirst for knowledge is unquenchable.
Drumroll please….Oscar has broken through the 9 lb ceiling. I dusted off my baby scale after a month + of resisting for fear of becoming even more mental than I already am and he tipped it at 9.1 lbs last night. I am so proud of my little guy. He had his first formula feed today. I made Vannette do it because it is too fraught with emotion for me (guilt). I know it needs to happen. My milk is dwindling as I am pumping less and trying to be happier. The pumping eclipses everything and makes me miserable. On a day like Monday when Colt needed me so much the first thing I had to say to him after asking him how his day was once he got home was “mommy has to pump.” Its just too much. Its been a good run, I will continue for a while. But I am not going to agonize over the decision. I need to feel better, be happier, and enjoy this family and my husband in a way I can’t when I am strapped to a pump over 2 hrs a day. They need me. I need me. I have seen Oscar through the darkest nights I pray we will have. Its time to enjoy. I’m having a hard time with this, can you tell?