That’s all I feel.  Ok not true.  I am also insanely nervous and I just want it over.  I just want it to be my turn tomorrow and not his.  I will pump, try my hardest to sleep, feed him at 5 which is the last time he’ll eat until after the 9 am surgery, and then pray on my hands and knees until he wakes up and breathes on his own.  Gail is here so we are safe.  The big boys are fine and that goes a long way to lessening my anxiety.  As does all the support from friends and loved ones.  It feels like we are in this together.  I am thankful for that.  I would give anything, however, for it to be someone’s else’s turn tomorrow.  I am sick of it being Oscar’s turn.  I will update here as much as I can.  T minus 10 hrs and 20 min.

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