välkommen hem

Posted Sep 27, 2012 7:57pm

Sunday. That is how soon Oscar may be coming home. I have kept this secret in my pocket all day. I don’t know why. I do feel like shouting it from the rooftops. He’s coming home!!!! As long as things go as they should between now and then, he will come home.
I’m having a hard time believing it.
He gained another ounce last night. He took 50 ccs at his 3pm feed today (his usual meal is 40 when he gets a bottle). No desats at all for that feed. These are big, huge, leaping strides. He’s so close I can smell it.
I’m scared too. But mostly really excited and tired and done with this reality. So ready to move on to life with my three boys. Its been so arrested. We’ve lived in this frustrating holding pattern that has sapped nearly all my energy. Its time.
Don’t mistake my brevity for lack of enthusiasm. My heart is exploding. I am just numb from the strain of this life we’ve all lead for 5.5 weeks + more. Maybe after a good night’s sleep I can write something befitting this extraordinary news. For now, I am thrilled. And tired. But more than anything, quietly happy. Glowing inside with satisfaction even though my beaten down and bloated exterior doesn’t show it. I can’t wait to recover from this and move on to enjoy this beautiful family we have.

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