Posted Sep 14, 2012 4:52pm

Oscar has a new neighbor again. Only this one arrived while I was there. I can now say with absolute certainty you do NOT want to be there when they do intake on your baby in the NICU. Of course, why would you be? You, like me, would have just had a pretty traumatic birth experience and probably need your own tending to. Suffice it to say, it was heartbreaking to hear little Edward cry as they stuck him with needles and put tubes down his throat. Yes, I am very glad we have such amazing medical possibilities. But I would not have minded being spared the technicolor details of how it all unfolds.
Today was one of those days. Thank god my dad came up last night to lend a hand, because Lucca couldn’t go to school today. Colt barely could but managed to rally. I called first thing to hear the report on Oscar’s night and the nurse said “He’s ok.” Ok is not good. I asked her to elaborate. She said that he was still pretty congested (he has been for the last 3 days or so), had spit up dried blood, and gained 8 grams last night bringing him to 1803 grams or 3 lbs 15.6oz. DRIED BLOOD???? My plans immediately changed. I raced to school to drop Colt, asked my dad to watch Lucca, and got to the hospital as fast as I could.
I walked in and asked the Dr to come speak with me asap. He did, and fortunately he agreed with my assessment that the rice cereal + wait and see + cannula was not working. I didn’t want to continue on this path. He threw up three times in the last 24 hours. He had never thrown up before yesterday. I told him that it was my opinion that the cannula was irritating his nasal passages so much that on top of the constant aspiration the nurses needed to do to relieve his congestion (due to the cannula itself) he was now bleeding inside his nose. I thought he should go without the cannula and that we should start him on the meds for reflux and stop guessing at solutions that while less invasive were costing Oscar something. It was very hard for him to breathe yesterday while nursing. Any mom knows that is hard on a regular baby. A peanut with breathing difficulties who has never nursed before…that is making it too hard. Dr Rakos was with me all the way. Right then and there we took the cannula off, he satted 100 the whole time as he rested comfortably for the first time in a while.
At 11 I nursed him and he did really well. Actually took quite a bit for him. He desatted a little but only when he took too much milk. Once I sat him upright for a minute he came right back up. I was very proud of him and cheered him on the whole time like a crazy person.
I am going to try to make an effort to have more visitors each day for Oscar. That means me, Matt, Sunan and my dad will take turns spending time with him. I think it is so important now that he can be held more that we be there as much as we can. That’s hard, and I am so glad I have great support in this area. Oscar can only benefit, as will Colt and Lucca since it won’t only be me each day going to sit with him.
Thank you all as always for your comments, I love reading them so much. Thanks for caring about our family and checking on us. I think of this page for me, as a catharsis. But to know that it is also informative is great. So glad you keep reading my meditations.

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