Puttin on the LBs

Oscar is doing swimmingly. He didn’t gain weight according to our pediatrician’s scale but it is the sliding kind not the digital down-to-the-gram kind in the NICU. So I am telling myself that its ok. Our pedi thought it was ok. We go back Friday morning for another weigh-in. Fingers crossed on that one. I had a lactation consultant come by today and she weighed Oscar before and after I nursed him. He took 2.3 oz which is a lot more than we put in his bottles. So that’s great news on the nursing front.
With preemies there is this hyper focus on weight gain. Or maybe with any small baby its this way. Its all such new territory for me. With Colton I was honestly concerned about how big he was (and everyone has heard me wax on about his shocking stats ad nauseum) and that I was over feeding him. Lucca was pretty much always on track, big but on track. With him my supply tanked at 3-4 months so that was nerve wracking in a different way. But with this little peanut every calorie counts. He needs them all and when he spits up I find myself thinking about how those are ‘x’ fewer calories he’s taking in. It affects how I feed him, and on top of my anxiety about his breathing (his only desats and As & Bs were during feeds for the last two weeks of his life in the NICU) it makes for a less than relaxing meal experience. I know it will come, and hopefully in a few week’s time he will be sucking it all down and gaining steadily. But for now I worry. I can’t help it. I just want him to fit into newborn clothes. That is my mini goal for O. With Colt I couldn’t change the outfits out quickly enough. He seemed to grow while I watched him, right before my eyes. I lamented how he never wore most of the adorable newborn things I was given for him at my shower or after we sent out announcements etc. And now, those are the very clothes I long for Oscar’s little legs to fill out.
Man is he cute though. Starting to have more alert periods and totally responds to his brothers’ voices. Its really sweet. Lucca spends the most time around him and breaks my heart with his tenderness towards this tiny baby. Colton isn’t jealous of Oscar, but Lucca. They both want to be with him all the time, and its so wonderful for me as a mom. Colt had a tough time when Lucca was born, and I was worried about that happening again this time around with Lucca. It may still of course, this is all so new. But for now, love abounds. In all ways.