Heaven

That’s what it is to have him here. Oscar. Teeny tiny Oscar is here and as much as I thought it would feel so scary and nerve wracking it feels natural. I think its because, as Leelee pointed out, I know Oscar really well now. When I had Colt and Lucca I was recovering from C sections and struggling to figure out who they were and what kind of mom I was going to be. Its also because he’s supposed to be here. That’s more than anything what it feels like. I am so very very happy. I am at peace in a way I didn’t realize I wasn’t. Something deep inside me just exhaled.
To see Colt and Lucca with him was every bit as satisfying as I had imagined. They are in love. We are all in love. One big love shack over here. The only one mad is the dog, who I think recognized quickly that this equated into even less attention for her. Our happy ending has arrived. A new beginning is upon us. Things really are as they should be here. For today, I am content as can be.